“Why won’t you love me?”

Recently, I have been thinking that people with addictions swap one for another. I had an uncle once who had replaced heroine with alcohol. Now, I have an old friend who wants to replace alcohol with me.

 

It is a strange and constricting situation. I constantly feel as if I am being strangled, his need to have me in his life is so great. Walking away is the only way to deal with him and save my sanity. Discussion only make things worse. He has a brilliant mind and can talk you in circles if you are not careful.

 

The emotional blackmail that is being thrown my way is over the top. It is too much to make one person responsible for all your happiness and well-being. To have someone say they will work on their addiction if you promise to be there always is horrifying.

 

He speaks of love. It just sounds like prison.

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2 thoughts on ““Why won’t you love me?”

  1. I will give you my unsolicited advice, I think you are doing the right thing. I wanna say I have been on his shoes before, but actually, I’ve have always appreciated explicit answers, even if the truth hurts. I think in this case, your actions will speak louder than words.
    If one is held emotionally hostage by my love, then I technically wouldn’t be loving them, rather, my true love rests in my desire to fulfil “my addiction” and that is selfish.
    Thanks for sharing your deep thoughts. It really reminded me of a few that may have perhaps felt that way about my affection… I’m the one that stayed away from them… I secretly love them and for the sake of said love, I don’t share my emotions with them anymore. However sometimes, my secret emotions manifest in poems… hehe

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