I like to think I’m a nice person. Some (my mother) would say I’m too nice. That I let people take advantage of me.
I believe in being as polite as possible. This of course, depends on whether or not the boundaries I have created are being respected. You show me respect and I’ll show you respect. Plain and simple.
Today, I find myself in the opposite situation. An old (soon to be ex-)friend is pushing for a substantial amount of my life and time. I’ve said that I can’t commit to anything because of our prior history. We dated for a time far, far in the past. Unfortunately, his battle with alcoholism has made it very easy for him to lie to my face in recent months. I have trust issues as it is and will not sweep this under the rug because he says he is sober now.
I asked that he give himself a year of sobriety. A chance to stand for himself. He has a new job and things look good for him. But, he keeps pushing for something between us and I don’t trust him.
I push back and I am called “unforgiving”. I am asked, “What is wrong with you? Why won’t you give me a chance?”
Because, I don’t feel you deserve one. Plain and simple.